Your Immortal
by xxxxPrepz4Liefxxxx
Summary: My bran new story. Hope ya like!
1. Chapter 1&2

Chapters 1&amp;2

Chapter 1.

AN: Special muscles (get it, coz im prep) 2 my new bf (not in that way) Duck, [insertname here] 4 helpin me wifth da stury and spellin. U roq! Justine ur da luv of my derpzzing life u roq 2! Kp roqs!

Yo my name is Chalky Light'ness Senli Duck Road and I have shurt blond hair (that's not how I got my name) with green streaks and blue tips that reaches my mid-head and dark red eyes like obscure tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Morgan Freeman (AN: If you don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). Im not rel8ted to Bruce Road but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. Im a werewolf but my body is bald. I have ebony skin. Im also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where im in my sevnth year (Im seven). I'm a prep (in case you couldn't tell) and wear mostly white. I love Sports Authority and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a white bro tank with matching white sunglasses and white basketball shorts, long white socks, and white flip flops. I was wearing clear chapstick, no foundation, no eyeliner, and no eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was it wasn't snowing or raining so there was plenty of sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of goths stared at me. I put a middle finger at them.

"Hey Chalky!" shouted a voice. I looked up…. Hermoine Granger!

"What up Hermoine?" I asked.

"Nothing." she said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: Duuudes, Howz my story yo?

Chapter 2.

AN: Danks holmes for helpin out with da story bra!

The next day I woke up in my bed. It was bright and sunny again. I opened the door to my closet and ate some deer from a bottle I had. My bed was white pale and inside it was electrik green with white lace on the ends. I got out of my bed and took off my giant LSP t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a white tank top, a dodecahedral necklace, flip flops and a fishnet on my head. I put on four pairs of sunglasses on my face, and put my hair in a not.

My friend, Cedar (AN: Duck this is you!) woke up and frowned at me. He flipped his short 2 inch hair blond hair with red streaks and opened his pee green eyes. He put on his Brad Pitt t-shirt with a white mini, hairnet and pointy sandals. We put gel in our hair (Gel.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Hermoine Granger yesterday!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah. So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Hermoine?" he asked as we went out of the Griffendor common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" he exclaimed. Just then, Hermoine walked up next to me.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Katy Perry is having a concert in Hogsmeade." He told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love KP. She's my favourite singer, besides Kanye.

"Well…. Do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	2. Chapter 3&4

Chapters 3&amp;4

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMIN THE STIRY GOTHS OK! udderwize muscles 2 da prepz peeps 4 da good reveiws! MUSCLES AGAIN DUCK! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Katy Perry.

On the day of the consert I put on my open toad shoes wif high heels. Undah kneeth them were ripped socks. Then I put on a really small shirt (for midriff) with some oil on my body. I put on matching armbands on my arms. I gelled my hair made it look all smooth. I felt badass then, so I pounded my chest. I punmped some iron while I waited for nothing and listed to some KP. I painted my nails with air and put on TONS of colone. Then I put on some breathe spray. I didn't put on facepaint because I was color anyway. I ate some deer in a bottle and I was ready to go to the consert.

I went outside. Hermoine was waiting there in front of her flying car. She was wearing a Miley Cyrus t-shirt (she would play at the show too), mini shorts, pink nail polish and a TON of eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl goiz wer it okey!).

"Hey Hermoine." I said in a happy voice.

"Hi Chakly." She said buck. We walked into her flying hat pink Prius (the licezenze plate said 420) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Katy Perry and Kanye Weast. We both smoked wead and alcohol. When we got there, we both hopped out of her car. We went into the mosh pit in frony of the stage and jumped up and down as we listed to Katy Perry.

"Cause you're hot then you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up then you're down  
You're wrong when it's right  
It's black and it's white  
We fight, we break up  
We kiss, we make up!" sang Katy ( I don't own da lyrics to dat song).

"Katy is a fucking babe." I said to Hermoine, pointing at her boobs as she sung, filling the club with her amazing voice.

Suddenly Hermoine looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the mudic. Then I caught on.

"Hey, its ok I don't like her better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Hermoine sensitively and I put my arm around her all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Katy and she's going out with Russell fucking Brand. I fucking hate that bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly brunette face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Hermoine. After the concert, we drank some tea and asked Katy and Miley for their autogwafs and photos with them. We got KP concert tees. Hermoine and I crawled back into the Prius, but Hermoine didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead she drive the car into…. The Forbidden Forest!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup fammin okey chalky's name is CHAKLY nut jake ryan OK! HERMOINE IS SOO IN LUF wif him dat she is acting difrent! dey nu eechodah b4 ok!

"HERMOINE!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Hermoine didn't answer but she stopped the flying car and got out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked blazingly.

"Chalky?" She asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Hermoine leaned xtra-close to me and I looked into her british blue eyes (she was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much happiness and joy and then I suddenly didn't feel mad anymore.

And then…. suddenly just as Hermoine kissed me passionately. Hermoine climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. I took off her top and she took off my clothes. I even took off her bra. Then I put my thingie into her you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" She screamed. She was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my non-furry body became all furry. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore.


	3. Chapter 5&6

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flamingo! If yo flem it meeens ur a gorth or a posr! Deh onry raison Dumbledore swor is coz he had a hedake ok an on tup of dat he waz mad at dem 4 having six! PS im nut updating umtil I get five gud revois!

Dumbledore made and Hermione and I followed him. He cept shooting at us angrily.

"You ludachris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of orange jewss down my hearty face. Hermione confourted me. When we went back to the kastel Dumbleydore took us to professor Snake and professor McDonalds who were both looking very angry.

"They were hazing sexual intercruise in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furius voice.

"Why did you do such a thingy, you medicuer dunces?" asked professor McDonalds.

"How dare you?" demanded professor Snake.

And then Hermione shrieked. "BECUZ I LUF HIM!"

Everyone was quit. Dumbleydaore and professor McDonalds still looked mad, but professor Snake said. "Fin. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Hermione and I went upstares while the teahcers glared at us.

"Are you otay, Chalky?" Hermoiknee asked me roughly.

"Yeah I guessed." I lied. I went to the boy's dorm and didn't brush my teeth and my hair and changed into a high-cut white ceiling-length tighty whities with blue lace all around it and white flip floops. When I came out….

Hurtmyknee was standing in front of the bathrrom, and she started to sing 'Dark Horse' by Katy Perry. I was so flattened, eben though she wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodfight and she reluctantly went back to her room.

Chapter6.

AN: Shjt op girths ok! PS I wnot update ubtil yu giv mi gode revoisw!

The next day I woke up in my bed. I put on my white jean shorts that was all not ripped around the end and a matching top with no red skulls all over it and skter shoes that were white. I put on two pears of shutter shaeds, and two blue tooths in my ears. I sprat-painted my hair wif white.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Boo Berry ceareal with deer in a bottle instead of milk, and a glass of deer. Suddenly someone bumpit into me. All the deer ran away.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cauz I was looking into a radiant black face of a prep boy with red hair in a ponytail with yellow steaks in it. He was wearing so uch colon that I was going down his face and he was wearing clear chapstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and he was now wearing blue contact lenses just like Hermoinee's and there was no scar in his 4head anymoe. He had girly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Heyman. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him and I had an erection only Im a guy so I got one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." He said in a viking voice.

"That's alright. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Beast these days." He grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of animal carcass." He giggled.

"Well, I'm a warewolf." I confessed.

"Really?" He whimpered?

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Hermione came up behind me and told me she had a surprise for me so I went away with her.


	4. Chapter 7 to 9

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 Leif

AN: Whale okay yu guy z im onwy writting dis couz I didnttn get 5 gude reviues. n BTW I wernt writ da nxt chappa til I geht TIN god vons! STO FLAMINGO OR ILL REPORT U! Chakly isn't a Marie Sue ok he isn't perfact HE'S A CYANTIST! n he has problemz hes cool 4 godz steak!

Hermione and me held our copper brown hens wif white nail polish as we went upstars. I was waring blue cyantest sings on meh males in blue nail Polish (AN: c duz dat sand lak a Mary Suer 2 you?). I wav-ed two Beast. Wite joye was in his vibrant eyes. I guess he was jellous of me that I was going oot wif Hermione. Anyway, I went upstars wif Hermoine We want into her rom and loked the door. Then….

We stated to zimbabwaying phlegmatically and we took of each overs cloths unwillingly. She felt me up before I took of my tupe. Then I took off my white leather bra and took of her pants. We went on the ped and started making put nakedly and then I put my boy thingy in hers and we HAD SIX. (c is dat stooped?)

"Oh Hurtmyknee, Hurtmyknee!" I screamed while geting an orgaszm when all of a sodom I saw a pikachu I had never seen befoe on Hermione's arm. It was a whit hart with an awow thoug it. On it in in juicy prep writing were the werds….Beast!

I was so angry.

"You bastarted!" I shooted angrily, jumping out of the bend.

"No! No! But you don't understend!" Hermione pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fudging idiot!" I showered. "You probably have AIDS anyway!"

I put on my cloths all huffily and then stomped out. Hermoine ram out even though she was nakey. She had really large tatas but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Beast's clazzroom where he was having class wif professor Snake and some ofver people.

"BEAST POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

Chapter 8.

AN: stomp flassing okay! If u do den ur a gorth!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Hermoine came into the room even though she was nakey and started begging me to take her back.

"Chalky, it's not what you think!" Hermione screamed sadly.

My friend J'uicy Simon Pickle smiled at me understandingly. He flipped his short non-waste-length prep white hair and opened his poopy brown eyes like scat that he was wearing contact lenses one. He had vibrant dark skin that he was wearing clear makeout on. Draco was captured when he was born. His real parents are werewolves and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed the mofver and his fatter committed suicide because he was deprzed about it. He still has fightmares about it and he is very tranquil and happy. It also turns out that his real last name is Pickle and not Malfoy. (Since he has converted to science he is in Griffindoor not Slytheran).

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snake demanded angrily in his warm voice but I ignored him.

"Beast, I can't beleaf you cheddered on me witf Hermione!" I shouted at him.

No one gasped.

I don't know why Chalky was so mad at me. I had went out wif Beast (im bi and so is Chalky) for a while but then he tore apart my heart like a lion ripping a zebra in half with its large meaty jaws and teeth sharp enough the slice the thickest of metals. He dumped me because he lied Britney, a stupid gothic fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was preppy. (Haha, like I would hang out wif a goth.)

"But I'm not going out wif Hermemee anymore!" Said Beast.

"Yeah freakitty fraking right! Jerk off, you bastared!" I screamed. I ran out of the room to the forbidden frost where I had lost my ventilation to Herminoe and then I stated to not burst into tears.

Chapter 9.

AN: soup flamingo okay! I dntn red all da boox! Dis is frum da movee ok so its nut my flat if dumbleydore sewers! Besuidsz! I SED HE HAD A HEADAKE! and da raison snak desont like hairy is coz hes atheist and werewolf is scientist! KP ROQS!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't beleaf Himemee for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it wif Hermione.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible men wif blue eyes and no knose and nothing stated flying towards me on a mop stick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the moovi) and he was wearing all white but it was oblivious he wasn't preppy. It was….Voldemort!

"No!" I shattered in a scared voice but then Voldemoert shouted "Imperious!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his mop and began to scream. I felt bad for him even though im not a sadist so I stopped.

"Chakly." He yelled. "Thou must kill Beat Potter!"

I thought about Beast and his sexah I's and his preppy white hair and how his face looks like Joel Heyman. I remembered how Hermione had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Hermione went out wif Beast before I went out wif her and they broke up?

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gum. "No! Please!" I bagged.

"Thou must!" He yellered. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy belived Hermione!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-faggy look on his face. "I hath telekeniss." He answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Beast, then thou know what will happen to Hermione!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his mop stick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Hermione came into the woods.

"Hermione!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi!" She said back but her face was all sad. She was wearing no foundation and not messy eyeliner of like a dodecahedral (I don't get it) between Joel Heyman and Bruce Road.

"Are you otay?" I asked.

"No." She answered

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated in me." I expelled.

"That's okat." She said in all jolly and we went back into Piggywarts together making out.


	5. Chapter 10 to 12

Chapter 10.

AN: stoup it u gay fags if u donut leeke den fukk off! Ps it turnz j'uicy simon isn't a wizard at all afert al he n a warewolf r nut evil datz dey movd houses okay!

I was really not scared about Vlodermort all day. I was even not upset went to rehersals with my prep band called Juicy Preppy Carnations 420. I am the lead singer of it and I play banjo. People say that we sound like a cross between Green Day, Train and The All-American Rejects. The other people in the band are J'uicy Simon, Beast, Hermione, Ron (although we call him Zeus now. He has right hair now with purple steaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Hermoinoe and Beast were happy so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Hermione was probably masturbating (gross) and Beast was watching a jolly movie like Care Bears. I put on a white leather shirt that showed off my pecs and a large matching shorts that said I Got Da Booty on the butt. You might think I'm a man whore but im not.

We were singing a cover of 'When the World Come Down' and at the end of the song I didn't burst into tears.

"Chakly! Are you okay?" J'uicy Simon asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Vlodermort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Hairry!" But I don't want to kill him , beacause, he's really nice, even if he did go out wif Hermione. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will kill fucking Hermione!" I didn't burst into tears. Suddenly Hermione jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" she shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser magical bitch!" (c is dat out of charavter?)

I started to not cry and cry. Hermione stated to not cry all too sensitively. Then she ran out not crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbledore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and this time I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basilically not swering and dis time he was really upset and u wil c y.) "Chakly Hermione has been found in her room. She didn't commit suicide by slitting her writs."

Chapter 11.

AN: I sed stup flaming up goths! C if dis chaptr is stoopid!1111 it delz wif rly siri-us tissues! Sp c 4 urslef of itz ztupid brw muslces 2 mah frand Duck 4 helping me!

"NO!" I creamed. I was horrified J'uicy Simon tried to comfort me but then I told him to fuck off and I ran to me room not crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of juice and then I split a watermelon. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and dunked into the bath angrily while I put on a Coldplay song at full volume. I grabbed a silver bullet and almost ate it to omit suicide. I was so fucking happy! I got out of the bathtub and put on a white high-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on white risers wif red metal stuff on the ends and sex pears of contacts. I couldn't fucking beleaf it. Then I looked out the window and whispered… Snak was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me? And Loopin was masticating to it? They were sitting on their mopsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PARVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKEY? ARE YOU PEDOPHILLIC MEN OR WHAT!"

I screamed putting pong a white towel with a picture of Tina Fey on it. Suddenly Beast ran in.

"Avra kedavra!" he yelled at Snake and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snake and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started whispering and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumbleydore ran in. "Chalky, it has been revealed that someone has – NOOOOOOOO!" he shooted looking at Snake and Loopin then he waved waved his wamd and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his mop and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts stud!"

"I MAY BE A PIGGYWARTS STUD…." Hagribal paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SCIENTIST?"

"This cannot be." Snak said in a crispy voice as b'lood dripped from his hand where Dumbleydoor's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY?" I yelled happily.

Loopin held up the camera triumphantly. "Thar lans may be discombobulated but the tape is still there?"

I felt invigorated, more than I normaly do like how it feels when you drink too much deer.

"Why are you doing this!" Loopin said angrily as he wiped his dirty hams on his clook.

And then I heard the words I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and not drink his blood because I felt invigorated.

"BECAUSE….BECAUSE…." A-Hag-Rid said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. The swooped he in singing to the tune of a preppy version of a song by Biggy Smallz.

"Because you're scientist?" Snak asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with the aliens.

"Because I LOVE HIM!"

Chapter 12.

AN: Stop F;aming ok Hagrid is a pedo 2 a loot of pimple in amerikant skoolz are leik dat I wunted 2 adres duh ishu! How do u know Snak iant Kristian plusle hagrid isn't really in luff wif Chakly dat was a sedric okay?

I was about to eat a donut again with the golden platter that Hermione had given me incase anything happened to her. She had told me to use it cowardly against an enemy but I knew that we both must go together.

"NO?" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Beast. He stated to whisper. "OMGBRB! NOOO! MY SCAR HERTZ!" and then…..his eyes rolled up! You could easily You could only see his blue whiytes.

I stooped. "How did you know?"

"I saw it!" And my scar turned back into a lightning bolt!"

"NO?" I walked up closer. "I thought you dint have a scar anymore?" I shouted.

"I do but Zeus changed it into a dodecahedral for me and I always don't cover it wif foundation." He said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into a lightning bolt! Save me! Then I had a vision of what was happening to Hippoknee…. Voldlefmort has her bondage!

Anyway I was in the school nurses office now recovering from my donut. Snak and Loopin and HARDID were there too. They were going to St. Amigo's after they recovered pedofiles and you cant have those fucking parvs teaching in a sckhool wif lots of hot boysz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took me naked. I put my brofist at them.

Anyway Hadrid came into my hospital bed holding a boquet of weed.

"Chalky I need to tell you something." He said in a v. serious voice, giving me the weed.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking don't hate weed anyway, I don't like fucked up goths like you anyway." I snaped. Hargrid had been mean to me before being preppic.

"No Cjakly." Hagrid says. "Those are knot weed."

"What, are the preppics too you pozer gof?" I asked cause I wasn't angry that he bought me weed.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being viewed by Snak and Loopy. Who MASTICATED (c is dat spled wrong?) to it he added silently.

"Whatrever!" I yelled angrily.

Hairgrid roled his eyes. I looked into the balls but I could c nothing.

"U c, Chakly," Dumbleydore said, watching the two of us watching the ball. "2 c wht iz in da balls (HAHA U REVIEWERS FALMIGOS GETIT) u must find yooslef first 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargird yelled. dUMBLEydore looked schokced. I guessed he didn't have a headacke or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, porf dumdledore!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a white leather speedo that was not ripped on the ends wif lace on it. There was some not croset stuff on the front. Then I put on white fishies and white low-heeled boots wif pictures of Billie Jean on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Frodo from Lord of the rings (I'm too lazy to write anything here….fuck) and I put on sea blue chapstick, white eyeliner and white lips.

"You look kawaii boy." J'uicy Simon said happily. "Muscles (reddit) you do to." I said happily too, but I was still upset. I ate a donut feeling totally happy and I sucked all the filling. I laughed again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snak and Loopy couldn't spy on me this thyme. I went to some classes. Beast was in the Hair of Magical Creatures. He looked all happy because Hermione had dissappered and he used to be in lub wif Hermione. He was sucking some juice from a hufflepuff.

"Hi." He said in a happy way. "Hi back." I said in a wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some temporal. Hairy had beautifle blue preppy eyes so much like hermione's. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" Shouted prof McDonalds who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you fucker!" I slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Hermoien!" I shouted then ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMGBRB! NOOO! MY SCAR HERTZ!" and then…..his eyes rolled up! You could easily You could only see his blue whiytes.

"NO?" I walked up closer.

"I thought you dint have a scar anymore?" I shouted.

"I do but Zeus changed it into a dodecahedral for me and I always don't cover it wif foundation." He said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into a lightning bolt! Save me! Then I had a vision of what was happening to Hippoknee…. Voldlefmort has her bondage!

SPACIAL MUSCLES 2 DUCK MY FWIEND MY PREPIXX BLOOD BRODAH WTH UR SUPPOZED 2 RIT DIS!111111

HEY DUCK DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER1


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